Tag: intrapersonal skills
(Adapted from a piece on fulltimenanny.com. Used with permission.)
One of the greatest challenges that both parents and teachers face is helping kids to learn the value and importance of honesty. Children learn to fudge the truth at a shockingly early age, and the habit can be difficult to break if not acknowledged immediately. Here are ten ways to make sure that your little one doesn’t make dishonesty a practice.
- Practice What You Preach – Teaching your children not to lie is likely to be a challenge if they overhear you saying things that they know to be untrue to others. It’s important to practice what you preach, especially when it comes to impressing upon kids the importance of being honest. They can pick up habits at an alarmingly fast rate, so make sure they’re good ones.
- Create an Atmosphere of Acceptance – Kids often lie out of fear that the truth will cause them to be ostracized. Creating a “no-judgment” zone in your house or classroom can help kids to feel safe enough to tell you the truth, even when the truth is something that you don’t want to hear.
- Talk About Outright Lies Versus Those of Omission – Small children may not understand the difference between actively telling a lie and simply opting not to say all that they know. Explain that both options are dishonest, and help them understand why it’s important to be honest in the first place.
- Reward Honesty – When a child tells the truth, it’s important to reward or at least acknowledge that truth. For instance, lessening a punishment because she told the truth can be akin to “time off for good behavior.”
- Avoid Situations That Can Lead to a Lie – Instead of setting a child up to be dishonest by asking if they did something, ask them why they did it. Saying “I know that you spilled your milk, now let’s clean it up,” is much more effective than asking, “Did you spill your milk?” This accusatory tone makes kids defensive, and they may lie reflexively just to avoid getting into trouble.
- Be Careful With “White” Lies – Instead of telling a child that their disgusting cough syrup doesn’t taste that bad, explain that it’s unpleasant but will make them feel better. A child will know the second that they take the first dose of that medicine that it tastes horrible, and may not understand why you would lie about it when they aren’t allowed to lie about things themselves.
- No Name-Calling – Never call a child a “liar” or other derogatory names. This only makes them feel like you don’t trust them to ever tell the truth, and that there’s no interest in doing so if you aren’t going to believe them anyway.
- Leave the Past Where it Belongs – When gently confronting a child about a situation in which they’ve been untruthful, avoid the urge to bring up past incidences of dishonesty. They’ll only feel as if their past mistakes can never be forgotten, and that you don’t believe that they can ever tell the truth.
- Don’t Make Threats – Don’t threaten a child with vague statements like, “if I found out that you’ve been lying, you’ll be sorry!” In this situation, they’ll only feel as if they must protect their lie in order to avoid a mysterious punishment, rather than feel secure enough to admit to being dishonest and making an apology.
- Be Patient – Kids who have trouble with telling the truth won’t change their stripes overnight, and it will require patience and effort on your part as well as theirs. Understand that there will almost certainly be missteps along the way, but your child is still learning the intricacies of telling the truth.
Kids can be further confused when they’re reprimanded for being “brutally honest,” so it’s a good idea to explain that telling the truth is a delicate balance of not making hurtful observations about others, even if they’re true, while also not saying things that are dishonest. Talking to them about only saying positive things about another person’s appearance or habits can help to prevent embarrassing statements made by kids that are trying to learn the difference.
Many thanks to Hannah Anderson for allowing us to repost this terrific article from fulltimenanny.com!
First, let me just say that I am a HUGE documentary fan. For me, there’s something so rich and compelling about things that really happened or people who believe that they may be really, truly onto something.
In the documentary I watched last night, “Dying to Have Known” by Steve Kroschel, the last few minutes of the film really moved me and I thought it was a good topic for Kidzmet’s blog.
Do you agree with the following excerpt? If so, what are you doing in your classroom (if you’re a teacher) or at home (if you’re a parent) to help make sure the next generation embodies and carries forward this mindset? How do we reinforce this thinking in an age where media is EVERYWHERE and is no longer something you can just “turn off”?
As Joel & Heidi Roberts put it in a seminar I attended this past weekend (much more eloquently than I’m about to) there are a cacophony of voices out there and it’s increasingly hard to be heard in a noisy world.
How do we drown out the voices in our kids’ lives (peers, magazines, videos, television, billboards, etc.) that are shouting the importance of currency instead of character? I expected to have to help my kids navigate the importance of what’s INSIDE versus what’s OUTSIDE in the tween/teen years. I didn’t expect to start dealing with Queen Bees and Wannabes in Kindergarten and first grade.
Here’s the excerpt. Hope it touches/resonates with you like it did with me:
“It won’t matter where you came from or on what side of the tracks you lived at the end. It won’t matter if you’re beautiful or brilliant. Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant. So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured? What will matter will not be what you BOUGHT, but what you BUILT. Not what you GOT, but what you GAVE. What will matter is not your SUCCESS, but your SIGNIFICANCE. What will matter is not what you LEARNED, but what you TAUGHT. What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example. What will matter is not your COMPETENCE, but your CHARACTER…A life lived that matters is not of CIRCUMSTANCE, but of CHOICE.”
~Dying to Have Known by Steve Kroschel (also available on NetFlix streaming)
No matter whether you believe that dreams can help you solve problems, give insights into what’s to come into your life, or simply are strange jumbles of emotions and images from your day…they do offer an interesting look at your unconscious and can be great fodder for analysis or creative writing.
We all dream every night…about once every 90 minutes or so. And even if you’re lucky enough to remember your dreams immediately upon waking, most times the details quickly fade and don’t get stored in an accessible memory bank.
Instead of having your child attempt to wake up enough to write down their dreams first thing in the morning or by the light of the moon, give them a voice recorder to save their recollections immediately upon waking.
It doesn’t matter whether you use an old cassette recorder (or mini-cassette recorder), a smartphone (there really ARE apps for that!), or a snazzy newfangled device like the LiveScribe Echo Smartpen…just getting kids in the habit of recording the way their brain processes information while asleep can improve their intrapersonal awareness. Plus, there’s no more fun breakfast conversation than the crazy dreams each family member had the night before.
When you tuck your kids in at night (with a recorder on the bedside table or next to their bed on the floor), before you turn out the light talk to them about things they might want to record when they wake up:
- key points of the plot
- any dialogue from the dream
- who was in it?
- any moods/feelings
- where did it take place?
- did anything stand out as strange?
If they’re particularly interested in this exercise, try having the alarm in their room go off 7.5 hours after they fall asleep this weekend and see if it triggers a more vivid recollection.
One day closer to the first day of school…
Below, we’ve compiled our favorite 10 language arts activities we’ve featured over the summer (as well as our Summer Reading Lists) to make sure your child gets in gear ahead of time and practices some of the concepts that they learned last year—in a FUN way—below. (That is, if your school follows the Core Standards.)
Want more? Several others are included here:
RECOMMENDED READING LISTS
for kids that particularly enjoy dabbling in specific Multiple Intelligence types.
Think about how you want to set up your event.
- Do you want people sitting in chairs facing you at the front (e.g. stage/audience)
- Do you want people sitting in chairs in a round circle?
- Do you want people standing up and talking to each other?
- Do you want a combination of a couple of the event formats above?
Next, think about how you will manage conversation at the event.
- Will you have people raise their hands to speak?
- Will you let them talk as needed?
- Will you have conversation “sticks” that people can use to show who’s up next to talk?
- Will you impose time limits on how much one person can speak?
How will you record people’s ideas?
- Will you tape record them?
- Will you video tape them?
- Will you have someone write them down on a sheet of paper?
- Will you have someone write them down on a chalkboard, whiteboard or easel?
It’s finally time for your event!
At your gathering, talk with others about how you can work together to affect change in this regard. Remind people how small changes on behalf of one or more people can create a positive chain of events that ultimately results in a BIG change.
Some people call this concept the “butterfly effect”…others call it a “ripple effect”…still others call it a “domino effect”.
Think about the small changes you are all willing to make individually and as a group.
- Will you talk to at least one person a day about your mission?
- Will you talk to your school PTA about it?
- Will you write a letter or email to your congressional representative, senator or the president?
- Will you create a petition?
- Will you create a YouTube video about it?
- How about a blog, Facebook group or a Twitter account?
- Is it a subject that your parents could post flyers about at work?
- Is it something that you want to talk to someone about at a local museum or bookstore?
- Do you want to do more research about it online and reach out to more influential people and get their suggestions?
Decide who will be responsible for which tasks. How will you evaluate the results of each effort? Then, set a date with those interested for your next meet-up. Encourage each other to find ONE more friend to bring to your next meeting.
Now, GO TO IT!
As Ghandi once said…